What happens when I contact you ?
There are several stages. Firstly, we will have an initial chat to find out when is the best time for a longer conversation. When the time is right (a day or two after our first contact), we will sit down together and start to make plans. I have a form which helps to focus the mind and gives you an idea of the questions I will ask. I can send this to you before we meet if you like. After we have said everything that needs to be included, we can start to think about the shape of the service; what you want to emphasise etc.
How much of the wording will I be able to check ?
After the interview is finished, I will draft a version of the Eulogy within a few days, and send it to you for checking. But this is only one section of the Order of Service and a few days after that I will complete the whole service (when I am sure what things will be included or not included) and I will send it all to you for a final look. I feel very strongly that it is your occasion and you must be happy with every aspect. What I say in the Opening Words, Committal and Closing Words can be tailored very much to how the deceased found meaning in life, and it is really important that that is respected.
How long will the interview be ?
It will probably take a couple of hours. The first aim is to get a feel for the personality of the deceased. Once that picture becomes clear, we can talk about the shape of the service. Most services will be about 30 minutes, depending on where it is held. By the time of our interview, you will probably have contacted a funeral director/undertaker and it is their responsibility to cater for all your requests outside of the service itself, so I will not cover questions like whether it should be a cremation or burial etc. as they will organise those things with you. But within those 30 minutes, there is a huge amount of flexibility as to what you include. Here is a rough outline of the structure of a ‘normal’ service which you might find helpful. Below are some topics we will cover in the later part of the interview :
Do you want music ?
Do you want readings ?
If you do want readings, what sort and who will read them ?
Will any member of the family be giving a eulogy ?
Do you want the Eulogy to be focused on the detail of the life or on important themes ?
In this website, you will see I have a page dedicated to resourcing for the funeral. For many people, knowing what to include is a difficult choice during a time of grief, so I aim to help here as much as I am able. Of course, these resources are only suggestions, and there is a huge amount of material available online.
What happens at the Service ?
Depending on the venue, I will normally meet you at the entrance some 10-15 minutes beforehand. I will lead the procession into the venue and when the service is over I will lead to the exit. What happens between those times is my responsibility and you can rely on my planning and preparation, so that you have one less concern on the day. I will make sure to give you a printed copy of the Order of Service so that you have a faithful record of the day.
